March has been quite an "unsmooth" month for me, despite it being my birthday month. So many things coincidence that I found myself gasping for air. From going back to AABS, being back on NOL, learning the ropes of work, meeting deadlines, slow clients, waiting for my confirmation letter, agonizing over the lack of completed feedback for my roundtable, uncertainty over the future.. and that just work wise. I think the pressure of work and uncertainty accumulated and before I knew it, bitterness had taken root in me, and with it, all the other emotions that follows. I was deeply unhappy then. That is not to say that i'm fantastically happy now. Truth be told i'm but only a wee bit better now.

This month, i still have loads to do work wise. Then there's my studies which i'm still far far behind on. I hope i can catch up. Effectively i only have e first wk of may to study "full time". I dont know how i am gonna pull it off, but i will find a way.

This post is extremely un-cogent coz i'm just writing whatever comes to mind. Anw i'm now trying to find ways to vent my pressure, change my mindset to focus on the now. It is not easy. But i have to try, otherwise i think it wont be soon before long that i end up losing myself. Honestly, i dunno how i became so "unsteady" in the first place. But it doesnt matter now. I'm gonna try to be better. Hopefully april will be the month it starts.

Ciao for now.

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